


Tabula Rasa

by smiling_eyes



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Amnesia, Codependency, Gen, Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 12:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16017500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smiling_eyes/pseuds/smiling_eyes
Summary: Steve and Danny disappear while chasing down a lead. When they are finally found, Kono and Chin are horrified to see how close to death their friends are. Can they truly recover?





	Tabula Rasa

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters or the show, I'm just borrowing them for a bit. 
> 
> This is my first posted fic here, and it is unbeta'd - comments and critiques are appreciated. There are parts that are meant to feel a bit disjointed, so please bear with me. 
> 
> This is not intended to be a romance or slash fic, but if you want to read into it...

His eyes blinked slowly open. Chin and Kono were across the island following another lead, and he could see a shock of blonde hair, unmoving, just inside his peripheral vision. That meant the footsteps at his back must belong to their assailant. Leaves crunched on the ground; just a couple more seconds and he could…

**************

Chin sank back to the ground as another bullet ricocheted off the concrete wall of his cover. He heard Kono in his ear. 

“Hold your position, cuz. HPD is 5 minutes out.”

If he strained his neck, he’d be able to see her on top of the building. She could see him, but not the shooter inside. No windows, the only other door was locked tight, padlocked on the outside, and probably barred on the inside, too. Her one attempt at shooting through the roof had taken two bullets, and she’d quickly discovered she was at a disadvantage as a single shot from the suspect punched up through the material, barely missing her foot and sending shrapnel that tore open her calf.

Chin’s ankle was sprained, starting to swell, and he couldn’t risk drawing the shooter’s attention, judging from the sound of the last 4 shots to his crumbling cover. Sitting there, he itched to pull out his phone and call Steve, but he couldn’t risk dividing his attention either. The suspect probably had backup of his own on the way. 

Soon enough, Chin heard shots in the not-so-distant distance – HPD had probably run into the backup on the only dirt road in. Chin grinned to himself, and was about to breathe a sigh of relief, when concrete exploded next to his shoulder. It took two heartbeats for him to spot the shooter in the brush next to the incoming road. He hadn’t even taken aim before the guy jerked backwards and crumpled to the ground.

“Gotcha covered, cuz.”

Another shot rang out.

Chin was up and sprinting towards the building, ignoring the screaming pain in his ankle. He skidded to a halt just inside the door. Their suspect was down. Self-inflicted gunshot to the head. He fell backwards.  


The only real suspect they had was gone. He could hope that Steve and Danny had tracked down their lead, but he had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was 3 hours past check in – almost 5 since they’d heard from Steve or Danny. 

**************

By the time Chin had his ankle taped and the paramedics decided Kono’s calf did not need stitches, calls to both Steve and Danny’s phones had gone straight to voicemail 7 times. The cousins exchanged worried glances over the tops of paramedics’ heads and tried to hurry the process along. If their phones were going to voicemail, they were off. Steve’s phone was never off, barring deployment. One running out of battery was plausible, but both... 

The gnawing feeling in the pit of Chin’s stomach was growing. By the time they climbed into the department issued SUV, he knew that he couldn’t just ping their phones from the laptop he’d brought with him. 

“We don’t even know where they went off grid, cuz.” Kono’s voice made her sound small and almost fragile. After everything their team had been through recently, she couldn’t imagine losing one of them, much less both Steve and Danny. 

“Just get us back to HQ. I may have a trick up my sleeve.” Kono stared hard at her cousin, then channeled Steve’s insane driving tactics. The fact that her cousin didn’t bitch about her driving cemented her own feeling that this was not going to turn out well for any of them.

They spent the rest of the trip in silence.

Back at headquarters, Kono dropped Chin off at the door, then left to get sandwiches and coffee. They hadn’t eaten since the malasadas Danny had brought in, before they split up to follow their leads – Kono and Chin taking the more obvious lead, Steve saying something cryptic about someone he used to know who might have heard something about where the mysterious ammo came from, and Danny following him out, ranting about Steve’s vagary. She sighed and looked at the sandwiches in her hands as she entered the office.  


When she walked in, Chin was staring intently at the tech-table, typing furiously. She knew better than to ask if the trick up his sleeve had worked out – he wasn’t done yet. His typing slowed down, and he suddenly looked unsure of himself.

“If they are holed up somewhere, this could be a bad idea. But it’s been nearly 7 hours since we’ve heard from them.” He looked up and locked eyes with Kono. “Is it worth the risk of exposing them?”

At Kono’s almost imperceptible nod, Chin picked up his phone and turned it off, paused, then hit one final key on the table. Ten seconds later, Kono’s phone screeched to life, wailing the emergency alert. She jumped and was about to ask Chin what the fuck he was doing when his phone lit up. 

Now on, his phone began the screeching, but he was back at the keys, hammering away – tracing Steve and Danny’s phones now that they’d been brought to life.

“It looks like they’re close to Makaha Beach Park. That’s 45 minutes away.” He looked at the keys in her hand. “Make that 30 minutes. I’ll see if I can get someone there sooner though.” 

The sandwiches lay forgotten on the edge of the table.

**************

Arriving on scene, they saw that local officers had blocked the entrances and exits to the area. Tourists and a few locals milled around, looking uncomfortable, obviously not wanting to stick around for what came next. Two boys sat handcuffed in the back of a cruiser. 

“The others pointed out these two as having possession of the phones when they went off.” The cop jerked his thumb at the two sorry looking teenagers. 

“Dudes just left them there. We didn’t steal them.” The taller boy – the older brother, they soon learned—argued loudly. “You can’t arrest us for picking up something someone else didn’t even want.”

“What do you mean they didn’t want them?” Kono knelt down and smiled at the boys, motioning for the keys to their cuffs. “Tell us what happened and we can see about dropping any charges, yeh?”

“We were hanging out in the parking lot, hoping we could nick some beer,” the older boy kicked at the younger one, “Hey, Kevin, stop man. This obviously isn’t about the phones. Let me tell them what happened.” After a moment of still silence, the younger boy continued, “Sorry, ma’am, my brother’s just trying to make sure we don’t get in anymore trouble with mom. Anyways, we were hanging out, waiting for someone to leave their coolers unattended for a minute, and we see these dudes just walk out of the freaking forest. I didn’t really get a good look at the older dude, ‘cause he went straight to a car, but the other two walked over to the tables and left those phones. Then they just went and got in the car with the other dude.”

“Did you see their guns or badges? Did the older man have a gun?”

“Naw ma’am, they didn’t look like they were in trouble, otherwise I woulda at least tried to get a good look at the car. I was too busy scoping to make sure they weren’t coming back for the phones to notice anything else. It was red though, but like dull, like it needed a new paint job.”

Now that they knew what they were looking for, Chin left to go through any pictures or videos that the others might have taken. With any luck, they’d get a plate – or at least a make and model.

“That’s good. That helps.” She smiled reassuringly. “Now, can you show us where they came out of the forest?” The boys pointed out the spot, showing the exact path they’d taken, then promised not to steal anymore beer before running off. 

**************  


It had taken another two hours to get tracking dogs down to the edge of the forest, and they were losing the light. Chin hadn’t gotten anything off the cameras, and had moved on to looking for cameras on the surrounding streets or 93 – hoping that there was a picture of the mystery car somewhere. 

Kono stayed at the scene, retracing the steps Steve and Danny had taken after they emerged from the brush. There was nothing. Not a single stone out of place, no sign that they’d tried to leave a clue. She wanted desperately to go into the forest and start the search for clues on her own, but she was afraid she would screw up the scent for the dogs, so she waited and retraced the scene in her mind.

There were people around, so they could have called for help, but they might not have if the suspect had threatened civilians. But she couldn’t see her way around the fact that they were alone for a moment – away from their probable captor and hadn’t even tried to escape. What bothered her more though, was that the fact that the boys had insisted that they were completely silent, hadn’t looked around or even at each other. She’d worked alongside the men long enough to know that they were never truly silent together – if they couldn’t bicker verbally, they argued and ribbed at each other through looks or touch.

None of it even made sense. None of the scenarios she could imagine had her boss and “other boss” walking around silently, ignoring each other. She almost laughed when she thought about the fact that even when they were “ignoring” each other, they were reacting to each other, knowing perfectly well when it was safe to look over and glare, when to turn away. 

By the time the dogs arrived, Kono had the sort of headache that lingers for days.

The dogs were on the scent quickly, going crashing through the brush. There were what appeared to be animal paths as they went, but the men had not taken the path of least resistance. Maybe Steve had tried to leave a message after all. Her heart dropped when the dogs finally stopped, just over a mile into the forest reserve. In a small clearing were their badges and guns, and a sticky looking patch of ground where there had obviously been a pool of blood. 

**************

Two days had passed and nothing. Nothing. Not a trace of their team. The Camaro had been found up the road at Kea’au Beach Park with the GPS tracker disabled. There were no clues there either, not even an unaccounted for fingerprint.

Chin, Kono, and quite a few unexpected HPD volunteers had canvassed what felt like all of Oahu. Everyone was on the lookout for the dull red car, but the roughly 50 cars that had been pulled over were all dead ends. One man called to complain that his car had been searched three times in one afternoon by three different cops and had only dropped his complaint when he was told that two people had been abducted.  


There were no leads on the case they’d been working, no leads on Steve and Danny. Neither of the cousins had even been home. They showered at the office, changing into their in-case-of-Steve backup clothes. 

On day three, Kono had passed out on the couch in Steve’s office and Chin ended up in a shouting match with Catherine who had pulled every string she even suspected existed trying to find a satellite over Hawaii that could have caught the incident. He knew she’d done everything she could, and that it was killing her to be deployed and not able to help search in person. That didn’t stop him from telling her that it wasn’t enough. He knew he was breaking – that losing someone else – two people he loved and respected – it was too much for him. Normally, days like this would be when he dropped by Steve’s with a six-pack and sat out on the lanai or sat in an all night diner talking over coffee. 

At the end of the first week, another robbery using the same rounds as the suspect in the standoff came in over the radio. The cousins bankrolled another coffee distributor’s kids’ private school education and put everything they had into it. They prayed that a break in the case would lead them to Steve and Danny.

**************

“Hey buddy. You’re awake.” Blue eyes blinked slowly open. “Here, be careful when you sit up, buddy. You have a nasty gash there. You might be concussed.”

A wave of nausea forced him to close his eyes. 

“Yeah. Feels like a concussion. Guess that means I don’t get to take another nap now, huh?” Through barely open eyes, he saw the other blurry man grin down at him. “So where is here? Hospital?”

“I got no idea buddy. I just woke up a little while ago myself. You mind if I try to clean that cut up a bit?”

“Go for it man. You know what you’re doing?”

“No idea, buddy, but it seems like the right thing to do.”

A sharp sting registered but his head was fuzzy, and he fell back asleep.

**************

“Hey, buddy. You gotta wake up for me.” He gently shook the sleeping man. “Buddy, you with me? C’mon, you can go back to sleep in a minute, I just gotta check on you.”

“Don’ wanna.” He turned over, away from the light. 

“C’mon buddy, just a couple of questions to make sure your brain is working okay. How many fingers am I holding up?” He barked a laugh at the response. “No buddy, how many fingers am I holding up, not how many fingers do you want to show me.” He held his hand in front of the face now hunched towards the wall. 

“Three.”

“Good. Now, what year is it?” Silence. “Month? Do you know the month?” More silence. “Do you know who the president is?”

“Obama.”

“Yeah, good. Ok buddy, one more. What’s your name?” Again, silence. “Okay, do you know my name?”

**************

“It doesn’t make any sense, does it man? I don’t remember anything. Nothing from my own life. I don’t remember any books I’ve read. Movies I’ve seen. I don’t know my own goddamned name.”

“Hey yeah, I gotcha buddy. I understand. I don’t remember a fucking thing either, trust me, I know it sucks.”

“It’s easier for you to trust me than for me to trust you. What kind of psycho would trap someone in a room and then knock himself into next week with a concussion?”

“Um, the kind of psycho who would build a room with no windows or doors?”  


“Shit, yeah. A psycho like that might.”  


**************  


“So what do we got here?”  


“Umm, well, we have a sink and a toilet. Better than a bucket at least.” He shrugged at the confused look the other man gave him. “Just a feeling. Besides, it means we have water. You can go 3 weeks without food, but only 3 days without water, so we are good for a while, long as the tap doesn’t run out.”  


“Food?”  


“Yeah, someone left a whole bunch of cans over there. And a can opener, I made sure to find that. I haven’t done an inventory yet, but if we ration it well, I’m sure someone will find us before we starve.”  


“And who’s looking for us? We don’t even know who we are.”  


“Someone out there has to know one of is missing. Family or a coworker. It doesn’t help to think we won’t be found.”  


“Yeah. I’m sure your girlfriend is missing you pretty bad right about now, big guy.”  


“I have a girlfriend? Did you remember something?”  


“How would I know if you have a girlfriend? I was just guessing. I mean, look at you.”  


“You too, buddy. There’s gotta be someone out there waiting for you.”  


“So, food and water. We got anything else?”  


“Yeah, um, it looks like there is a shower, but it doesn’t have a knob. One towel, one extra pair of boxers, and one blanket to go with the one mattress and one pillow, oh, and one spoon.”  


“Looks like this place was built for one, eh? You going to be ok sharing, big guy?”  


**************  


They couldn’t be sure how long they’d been there. They’d figured out that the lights would blink, and the shower would come on for 3 minutes. Long enough for one person to shower and scrub out their boxers, hanging them on the sink to dry overnight. No soap, but it felt cleaner than not at least rinsing them.  


“I’m just glad the fucking toilet flushes every time. Can you imagine having to wait until the lights blink for that?” Both noses wrinkled at the thought.  


After the shower, the lights would go out, leaving them in pitch blackness. They had about 90 seconds to pat dry, put on the “clean” boxers, and get into bed. Well – one of them got into bed. One would curl up on the mattress, while the other kept watch, sitting on the floor next to it, waiting, watching in case something changed. Of course, nothing ever changed. At some point, the one in bed would wake up and they would switch places. They slept when the light was on too, always taking turns.  


“I’m hungry. You want beans or veggies?”  


“Surprise me, big guy.” They both laughed. It was always a surprise. None of the cans had labels. So far they’d found several types of beans, corn, and sweet peas.  


“Lemme see the can.” A can was dutifully handed over. “Hrm. The stamp on the bottom looks a lot like the one from yesterday. I’m thinking… yeah. This one is going to be black beans.” He handed the can back over.  


“Doesn’t sound like black beans.” He shook the can next to his ear. “I’m thinking this is stewed tomatoes.”  


“Same deal, whoever is closest gets the first and last bite.”  


“Deal. You grab a coupla tins of water while I open this sucker up.”  


After trying to drink from the sink faucet, they’d realized that the emptied food cans made decent drinking cups – and that the lids, removed cleanly with no sharp edges (probably to stop them from trying to kill themselves), made time wasting toys.  


“It’s pineapple? Fruit? So eh, who wins?”  


“Tomatoes are a fruit.”  


The other man shrugged at him.  


“You get first bite, I get last?”  


They ate in silence, passing the can and spoon back and forth. Finally, the edge of hunger being numbed, they set up their nightly game. They’d take turns, tossing lids at a can. Whoever got closest without touching the can got first dibs on the bed. Not that it changed anything, but they’d both realized it helped give them something to look forward to, a challenge in an otherwise empty existence.  


**************  


“Favorite color?”  


“I’m going to go with blue?”  


“Is that a question or an answer?”  


“Both.” Strong shoulders shrugged.  


“Blue, huh?”  


“Yeah. Better than purple.”  


“Purple?”  


“You know, blue and red mixed.”  


“Yeah, I know what purple is, I’m not sure why you said that though.” Another shrug.  


“Dark blue or light blue?”  


“I don’t know, like a strong blue, but bright, you know?”  


“Yeah. If it’s too dark, it’s like black. But if it’s too light, it doesn’t feel like you can touch it. Like you can’t touch the sky.”  


“Getting philosophical on me?”  


“Your turn.”  


“Not yellow.”  


“Not yellow?”  


“Yeah. Not yellow. And you took blue. So um… red, I guess.”  


“I took blue? We can’t like the same color?”  


The lights blinked.  


“Your turn, buddy.”  


**************  


“What’re you doing over there big guy?”  


“You ever go bowling?” Silence. “Shit, yeah, stupid question.”  


“So you are stacking the empties to be like pins? What’s the ball?”  


“A full can, or the towel, if we can get it to stay balled up.”  


“Towel sounds like a better idea.”  


“You ever think it’s bullshit that we remember things, facts, but nothing about ourselves?”  


“All the damned time, but there isn’t a lot we can do about it, right?” The other man paused for a moment, shaking. “So do you have to knock both cans over, or just knock the top one off the bottom one?”  


“Just the top ones need to come down. Maybe we should use full cans for the bottom, make it more difficult?”  


“Eh. We can make the change when we get bored with the game this way.”  


“Right, buddy, good idea.”  


“So you guessed green beans last time, you want to go first?”  


**************  


“Kites.”  


“Really? Kites?”  


“Yeah, they are kinda like hawks but they’re better fliers.”  


“I know what a kite is. But why would that be your favorite predator?”  


“It’s less expected than like, a wolf or a lion or something.”  


“True. But I’m going with bears.”  


“Are bears even predators? They eat everything.”  


“Bears hunt and eat, but then they are smart enough to sleep for 6 months until the bad time is done.”  


“Shit. Yeah. You win.”  


**************  


“Do you remember your dreams?”  


“I dream?”  


“Yeah, or at least sometimes you mumble like you are talking to someone. And you move a lot when you do that, so I assume it is dreaming.”  


“I don’t remember anything to dream about. It’s probably my brain trying to process whatever the hell is happening to us here, and trying to keep the crazies at bay?”  


“Keep the crazies at bay? And here I thought you loved spending time with me.”  


**************  


“Salmon.”  


“Salmon? Really?”  


“Well, you said craziest non-predator. And I’m pretty sure fish aren’t predators.”  


“Sharks are fish.”  


“Seriously?”  


“They’ve got gills and they swim.”  


“I thought fish had scales.”  


“Sharks have scales. You rub wasabi on shark skin to shred it.”  


“Shit that is crazy. But we said non-predator. Sharks are definitely predators.”  


“What about whale sharks? They aren’t predators.”  


“Yeah, but I didn’t pick whale sharks. I picked salmon.”  


“So why are salmon so crazy?”  


“They swim hundreds of miles to spawn, then they just die.”  


“Or they get eaten by your bears before they even get to spawn.”  


“I’m pretty sure that qualifies as crazy.”  


“I was thinking more like the platypus. It’s a mammal that lays eggs, you can’t get much crazier than that.”  


“Well yeah, but those are in Australia, and everything from there is crazy.”  


“Really?”  


“Shit yeah. You put anyone or anything on an island like that for a good long while, and it is going to have to get crazy to survive.”  


“Does that mean we’re in Australia right now?”  


**************  


“Do you think we know each other outside of Oz?” He eyed the stack of empty cans, now larger than the full ones. “I mean, we’ve been here a while, and we talk about nothing all the time. So it makes me wonder if we were like friends before, and what we talked about.”  


“I really don’t know. I try not to think about it, because then I get frustrated and angry. I wish I knew something about my old life, but the only memories I seem to have are the ones with you here. And I’m not even sure we aren’t missing pieces of that too.”  


“Fuck, yeah. I’ve thought about that. If we’ve forgotten everything from before, it is possible that we have forgotten some of the now. Kinda makes me dizzy thinking about it.”  


“Yeah. And I get the feeling we’ve had this conversation before too. Wanna guess what’s in the can?”  


**************  


"Really? You want to know what I’d take with me on a deserted island? Aren’t we kind of already on a desert island?”  


“Yeah, it’s kind of the same. But it’s just something to talk about to pass the time. There are coconuts and banana trees, a fresh water spring. What do you need to survive?”  


“A machete. That would help with building a shelter and if you could catch fish somehow, it would make it easier to cut them up.”  


“And you could use it to make coconut mugs to get water from the spring or catch rain water.”  


“Very true. Ummm.. you said three things? Ok, a big cooking pot. You need to boil the water to make sure it is safe to drink.”  


“Yeah, I guess you can’t boil it in coconut mugs.”  


“No, but the coconut water itself would be safe to drink if you couldn’t boil water.”  


“One more thing.”  


“Books.”  


“You only get one book. And how is a book going to help you survive anyhow?”  


“Maybe like a survival guide so you know what bugs and plants are safe. Or if that isn’t allowed, just really any book. Something to help keep your head busy, give you something to do.”  


“A book would be awesome right now – I don’t even care what it’s about.”  


**************  


“Jalapeno.”  


“Ketchup.”  


“Nope. Ketchup is not a vegetable. Tomatoes are a fruit, remember?”  


“Yeah, but Reagan said it was a vegetable.”  


“Fine. Leafy greens.”  


“You can’t say leafy greens. Leafy greens isn’t a vegetable, it is a groups of vegetables.”  


“Oh, but you can get away with ketchup? Fine. Lentils.”  


“Lentils are a legume, not a vegetable. And lettuce is cheating too, I used iceberg lettuce for I.”  


“Um… shit. Ooh! Leeks. HA!”  


“Damn. Shit… M… M… oh! Mushrooms – technically a fungus, but you put it on pizza, so it should count as a vegetable.”  


“Does that mean cheese is a vegetable now?”  


**************  


“Looks like you’re going to have a scar.”  


“You mean another scar. I’m littered with’em.”  


“You and me both, buddy. Makes you wonder how we got so many. What kind of people we were.”  


“You think this is punishment? Like extreme imprisonment for crimes we don’t even remember?”  


“This can’t be a real prison. Wouldn’t be legal. Could be we crossed the wrong person and they want to punish us.”  


“Isn’t there a story about something like that? Dude goes crazy over an insult and buries someone alive?”  


“You remembering something you read?” It is important to keep the excitement out of his voice. They’ve been down this road half a dozen times.  


“Naw, still nothing. It’s just like a feeling in the back of my skull. Not that knowledge of a story that may or may not exist is a feeling, but it’s like I know something’s there.”  


“Like those monk seals I was telling you about? Where I know all this stuff, but I can’t tell you how or why I know it? Makes you want to take the spoon and dig a little deeper trying to get past that wall.”  


“I’m more tempted to take the spoon and try to dig us out of here. My luck though, we’d hit dirt. I’m pretty sure this concrete box is underground.”  


**************  


“So what happens when the food runs out?” The cans were getting fewer and fewer.  


“We can cut back rations again. Try to hold out longer. Someone has to be looking for us by now.”  


“We are going to run out of food at the same time, doesn’t mean we will starve at the same rate. And we have water. You said we can live 3 weeks without food.”  


“Live yeah, but we’ll be too weak to even get up and get water by then. And the 3 weeks is if we were well nourished in the first place, which we are not.”  


“So we leave the shower on, and after the lights blink, we’ll get 3 minutes of water.”  


“Do we want it though, man? Clinging for a few more painful days? Starvation is going to hurt.”  


“When the food runs out, we’ll move the mattress under the shower. It’s not like laying on a wet lump of germs will matter by then.”  


“And the tin cans. If we put those around us, they’ll catch water so we don’t have to go to the sink to drink.”  


“It almost feels like we’ve done this before.”  


“Planned our own death by starvation?”  


“No man, but you know, planned for the worst. For the end, you know.”  


“With all the scars we’ve accumulated, I’m pretty sure planning for the end was damned near a hobby.” He ran a thumb over a particularly nasty scar on the other man’s abdomen. “That one looks like it could have been the end.”  


**************  


The lights were off. Shower time had ended a while ago, according to his now dry hair. He’d honestly been surprised when the water had come on. Yesterday, the lights had blinked, and no water had come. He’d almost been relieved at the prospect.  


“Hey, hey buddy. Wake-up man.” He shoved the other man over, scooting onto the soggy mattress from where he’d been watching in the darkness. “Seriously buddy, you gotta wake up. I heard something.”  


Sure enough, there was the muted sound of metal on concrete, over and over. The two exhausted men huddled together on the mattress, waiting. With two of them, their food should have run out weeks ago.  


“Is it him? Or do you think someone found us?” Barely whispered, voice tight with anxiety. No answer.  


The noise felt like forever, and finally, the metal broke through the concrete barrier. Light brighter than the overheads flooded in, blinding them. He turned, shoving his friend into the corner and keeping his own body between him and the light.  


“Steve? Danny?” A woman’s voice. “Hey, hey, boss. We got you.” He practically growled when she touched his shoulder.  


“Boss? It’s me,” softly. “It’s Kono. Chin’ll be right here. He grabbing you some supplies. Jackets. Protein bars.”  


**************  


It was taking everything in her not to throw herself on Steve and Danny. Almost a week ago, they’d gotten a call from HPD. Suspicious death. Except, when they’d got on scene, it wasn’t the death that was suspicious. It was the room with video monitors. One of the officers on scene was trying to make sure that the guy falling and hitting his head was just that, an accident. When he saw the monitors, he thought maybe it had been caught on tape.  


When he turned the monitor on, he scrambled from the room, calling Duke Lukela, who’d called Chin. The officer hadn’t even realized it was Steve and Danny, all he’d recognized was that two men were being held prisoner. It wasn’t until they rewound the tapes and saw the two men standing together that she’d even recognized them over the grainy feed.  


Her scream of recognition had drawn every officer in the house to the room, weapons drawn. Then she’d just burst into tears, leaning into Chin’s shoulder, while he was still too stunned to move. She didn’t even have the time or energy to be embarrassed at her lack of control. They’d spent weeks tracking every lead, no matter how thin. Finally, the Governor had ordered them to pick a couple of new team members from HPD and to take on new cases.  


HPD cops rotated through 5-0 now, none lasting more than two weeks or two cases, whichever came first. On duty, Chin and Kono were demons, with Kono seemingly trying to make up for Steve’s disappearance in explosions and gunplay. The good news seemed to be that the bad guys hadn’t figured out that 5-0 was short staffed, and hadn’t upped their antics to try to regain ground.  


Off the clock, the cousins sifted through every case HPD got, looking into every criminal they thought might have had something to do with the disappearance. Friday nights, they went to Steve’s and sat out back on the lanai, grilling whatever Kamekona brought. It was their only respite from the agony.  


Rachel could see that there was very little left for them to give, but it seemed to make Grace feel better, so Grace and Rachel came every Friday too. Along with Grace’s new “chauffer” – an ex-cop who’d been hired after the second week, when someone had broken into Kono’s car and stolen her laptop and the theory of the day was that someone was targeting 5-0. Even when they found the laptop in a pawn shop and it was obvious that the culprit was just some tweaker looking for a fast buck, Stan had decided that keeping the guy around was prudent.  


Kono let out a shaky breath.  


“We can’t tell anyone yet, cuz. We can see them, and it’s a live feed, but we don’t know how long it’s gonna take for us to find them. I don’t think I can tell Grace we found them, and then…” She’d watched days of the video on fast forward, trying to pick up clues. She was willing to bet they didn’t even realize the cameras were there. She watched too, as they had shoved the mattress across the floor, then carefully filled cans of water from the sink, pressing lids back onto the cans, and stacking them. On the live feed, when the lights blinked, the men didn’t move, just laying there as the water soaked both them and the mattress. She thought she saw Steve’s hand move, but she couldn’t be sure. Then it was dark, and they were just gone.  


Someone was always at the video monitor, watching carefully for clues or signs that they were alive – the rise and fall of shallow breaths, moving ips as they spoke, a shiver as a chill went through them.  


Officers tore the house apart looking for hidden rooms, a secret basement. They brought the dogs back in, but their scents had long vanished. Finally, someone had requisitioned a ground penetrating radar machine. They’d gone over every inch of the dead man’s property, finding no indication of the secret room.  


While the techs worked, scrubbing the property, Chin looked into the dead man. He wasn’t affiliated with any of the criminals they’d crossed paths with. There were leads to track down as to HOW and even WHY he’d done it, but there was nothing indicating WHERE his friends were.  


On the verge of his own breakdown, he’d stormed out of the house and stalked down the tree lined street, trying to clear his head. The third time he passed it, something clicked in his mind. There was nothing wrong with the little clearing with the clearly new wooden picnic table, but something just felt off about it.  


**************  


“It’s a septic tank.” The old woman who owned the house was stubbornly refusing to let them onto her property with the ground penetrating radar. “We had a new system put in last year. The other one was probably as old as I am.” She cracked a wry smile.  


“Look ma’am, the machine won’t mess up your lawn. We just need to get a look at what’s down there. If it’s just the septic system, then we go.”  


“I’d still prefer you get a warrant, before you do that. It’s not just my property you know, it’s the system for the neighborhood. And our water. Can’t have you messing with that.”  


“The water, ma’am?”  


“Of course the water. You don’t think we have pipes from the city all the way up here, do you? We have it delivered by truck every couple of weeks. Keeps us topped off.”  


“And this supplies all 5 houses up here?”  


“Didn’t I just say that?”  


“Then we don’t need a warrant, ma’am. Your neighbor’s house is an active crime scene, and this is too.”  


He brushed past her onto the lawn, motioning for the techs to follow. They paced the grounds, and did indeed find the septic system and the cistern. There was a lot of obviously recently disturbed dirt and pipes crisscrossing the area, even buried discarded wooden boards, but no evidence of Steve or Danny. Chin checked his watch.  


“Turn off the water.” He knew they couldn’t keep it off all night, but they didn’t need to.  


“Hey cuz, you watching the feed? Watch for the lights to blink, then tell me what happens. It should be about time.” They’d discovered that the timer was on a 20-28 hour loop. It must be absolute torture, even by Steve’s standards, to not be able to settle into any kind of a real rhythm. It was 4, and the last cycle began at just before noon yesterday. In the next 8 hours, he prayed that the lights would blink and that the shower wouldn’t start. Then they’d know they were at least on the right track.  


It was almost 3 hours before Kono excitedly announced that the lights were blinking.  


**************  


They were losing the light again. A call to the governor brought out more man-power. Construction crews from around the island showed up with lighting rigs and heavy duty equipment.  


The plan had been to rip up the foundation in the cistern pump shed and follow the pipes. One of the construction workers noticed the slab around the edges was a different texture. After chiseling away at the mismatched concrete, they found hinges. The entrance had been loosely filled in with dirt, and as they dug, they found rotting boards that looked like they had once held the ground at bay.  


Teams of workers dug. Teams shored up the developing narrow tunnel, following the loosest dirt and bits of wood that remained. When the diggers got tired, they were replaced. Kono had put a uniform on the monitors and was supervising the dig – making sure there was always another team at the ready. By the time they hit the concrete wall, Kono and Chin had been awake for over 40 hours, onsite for a hundred more.  


They refused to leave the property and were forced to take power naps in patrol cars. The clang of jackhammers on the concrete lulled them both into a deep sleep for the first time in days. They were terrified, but their friends were feet away, and Duke had promised to get them as soon as they broke through, although it would still be a while before they cut through the rebar and pulled the concrete away enough for a person to crawl through. So, knowing they were finally coming to the end of a three and a half month nightmare, they slept.  


**************  


“That’s good. That’s it. I can get through that hole.” Kono was practically shoving the workers aside. The tunnel was narrow, and she had to back out to let them out before she could crawl forward, her flashlight held in her teeth. The lights would probably be on again soon, but she couldn’t wait.  


The interior or the room was silent. Behind her, she heard the men shoving one of the more compact lights through the hole, trying to give her some light to work with.  


“Steve? Danny?” The men didn’t reply. Her heart beat faster, suddenly terrified that she was too late. Her chest loosened when she saw Steve’s bony shoulders shaking. “Hey, hey, boss. We got you.”  


She pulled her hand back at the guttural growl.  


“Boss? It’s me. It’s Kono. Chin’ll be right here. He grabbing you some supplies. Jackets. Protein bars.”  


She crouched near them, at some points literally biting her tongue to keep from babbling, or crying again. She could see individual vertebra and ribs in the stark light from behind her. The shadows made him look positively skeletal.  


“We got you. It’s okay now boss.” Hearing a shuffle behind her, she scooted over to the side a bit, even though she knew the emaciated man wouldn’t turn to look either at her or at Chin, who’d made it in with blankets, bottled electrolyte water, and protein bars.  


“Hey boss. You hungry?” Shoulders tightened again. They hadn’t even gotten a glimpse of Danny. “I’ll leave the food here. Kono can take care of you. I’m gonna go make some phone calls boss.”  


Chin backed slowly towards the hole in the wall. The concrete was 3 feet thick. Kawelo had never intended to get them out. He was anxious to get his friends out of their tomb, but he recognized that it was going to take time.  


“Hey see boss, it tastes good.” Kono opened one of the bars and pinched off a piece, forcing herself to eat it. She tossed the bar forward, next to Steve. She opened one of the water bottles and took a sip of it before rolling that up next to the bar. She watched his shoulders roll, the indecision in them. Finally, he snatched the bar up, and instead of shoving it in his mouth like she had expected, she saw him break a piece off and feed it to the man he was cradling in his arms.  


Her hand flew to her mouth, stifling the sob that tried to escape as she realized that Danny was alive. She tossed another bar forward. This one he took a bite of, before breaking off a piece and feeding it to the other man.  


They devoured another two bars that way, gulping down two bottles of cool water in between, but Steve never turned, never truly acknowledged her presence. She heard murmuring between them, but couldn’t make out a single word. With the food gone, she saw pale arms snake around Steve’s shoulders, clinging tightly.  


When the overhead lights finally came back on, she got a good look at the room for the first time. It was worse than the solitary cells at Halawa. From this angle, the room looked even smaller than it had on the grainy video.  


“Ok boss, Steve, you gotta let go of Danny so we can get you both out of here.” She saw both men tighten the embrace—like it could be called anything else at this point—at her words. She waited, hovering close, but careful not to touch.  


“Yeah Steve. You gotta let me go so they can let us out of here.” The voice was gentle, but with a teasing lilt.  


“Umm… boss, you’re Steve. That’s Danny.”  


“I’m Steve? How am I Steve?” His voice cracked slightly. Kono’s eyes went wide in horror, beginning to realize what else she couldn’t have picked up on from the tapes.  


“You are Commander Steven McGarrett. Navy SEAL, leader of 5-0. That’s Detective Daniel Williams, your partner.”  


The last thing she’d expected was the weak bark of laughter that erupted out of Danny.  


“Well at least that explains the monks.”  


**************  


Chin cleared out the workers. Thanking them for their help, but pushing everyone off the property. Only Duke and the paramedics for the two ambulances stayed.  


The tunnel down was steep, the room being underneath the septic system. The set up was brilliant in its insanity. There was no way to get the paramedics and stretchers down to the room, so Steve and Danny would have to come up, and Chin wasn’t entirely sure they were up to it. So far, they hadn’t even let Kono drape the blankets around them. He wanted to believe that it was the stoicism and bravado they all put on after a hard case, but he knew better. This was fear.  


They’d finally agreed to let Kono lead the way out, followed by Danny, and Steve last. It was understood that Steve was afraid Danny couldn’t make it on his own, although no one dared say that. The freed men were too weak to walk, so Kono had laid out the blankets so they wouldn’t have to crawl through the dirt. She crawled slowly ahead of them, stopping once when her knee found the edge of a rock. She carefully pealed the blanket back and smoothed out the path.  


Chin noticed that when they’d emerged, Steve’s hand had been holding Danny’s bare ankle, and that as soon as they’d both emerged, they were once again clasped together desperately.  


Quietly, he convinced the paramedics to put Danny on the stretcher, as he was obviously the worse off of the two, and to let Steve ride next to him, holding his hand. It was the only way they were getting the men into the vehicle without knocking them unconscious. Kono and Chin, also showing signs of exhaustion, promised to ride in the other ambulance.  


**************  


The first real problem had occurred at the hospital when the doctors tried to have Danny wheeled down to get some tests run. He was too weak to pull himself out of the bed, but he’d screamed bloody murder and thrashed until his IV ripped out of his arm before they could push a sedative. As disruptive as that was, it was Steve careening out of the room dragging his own IV behind him, screaming and pushing the nurses out of the way that had caused panic.  


“I’m right here buddy. Right here. It’s ok. I’m not gonna leave you.” Steve pulled himself into the bed next to Danny and was making soothing noises when orderlies showed up and pushed them back into the private room.  


Most of the doctors and nurses were well aware of Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams running roughshod over protocols and procedures in the hospital, but they’d never seen him violent with the staff. 

Someone new had insisted that they both be restrained before anyone else entered the room. Chin had had to call the governor again and bring in a psychologist who insisted that they not be separated until they’d had sufficient time and therapy to process their captivity.  


Still, it was 7 hours later under Kono’s supervision that they’d wheeled the men down into testing. They couldn’t always touch, but they were always within touching distance. They put Danny though his battery of tests first, then Steve. Several comments were made that it would all go much more quickly if they could run tests on the men simultaneously, but a glare from Kono would stop the complainer cold in their tracks.  


Finally returning to the room, Steve had stubbornly refused to get back into his own bed, and had climbed in beside Danny. Fortunately, one of the hospital staff had obviously seen that coming and had provided them with an oversized bed. When dinner trays were brought around, Kono recognized their feeding behavior from the videos she’d seen. One bite Danny, one bite Steve. She wasn’t sure she’s ever seen someone enjoying dry chicken, limp broccoli, and bland mashed potatoes before. They’d polished off one plate and were working on the next when the door burst open.  


“DANNO! UNCLE STEVE” Grace skidded into the room and was clambering up onto the bed before anyone had time to react. The tray of food toppled off the bed to the floor, forgotten.  


Finally Steve elbowed his bedmate.  


“You’re Danny, so you must be Danno too.” Danny finally reached down and patted Grace on the back, unsure of what else to do.  


“Grace, I’m sure your father needs to breathe. Why don’t you sit beside him instead of on him?”  


“Father? I’m a father?” Rachel narrowed her eyes a bit, before overcoming the instinct to fight with her ex-husband. Chin had said that there were some memory problems.  


“Grace honey, climb down off the bed. Come on, sit here.” Rachel patted the chair next to the bedside.  


“I have a daughter?” Danny’s focus was completely on Steve now. “I have… I’m…”  


“Shhh… hey buddy, it’s ok. I told you there was someone looking for you. See buddy, they were waiting for you to come home.”  


“I have a kid…”  


“Grace, Danno. You have a Grace. We have a Grace. If I’m Uncle Steve that must mean you married my sister.” He looked over at Rachel standing by the door.  


“No Uncle Steve, you aren’t really my uncle! We’re ohana!” Grace was practically vibrating in the chair next to the bed, trying to wait for her father’s attention.  


“Ok, Grace. Your father and Steve are obviously very tired and need their rest. We can come back again tomorrow for another visit.” Rachel could see that she was ready to cry. “We’ll visit every day, Grace. You’ll get to see your father as often as he can handle it while he recuperates.”  


“Everyday?” She looked at her father, noticing the IV lines and the dark circles under his eyes for the first time.  


“Everyday Grace. Danno loves you.” He held out his arms for a hug.  


**************  


“So Mr. Kelly…”  


“Chin, please.”  


“Of course, Chin. These forms indicate that you will have power of attorney and be the medical proxy for both Mr. Williams and Mr. McGarrett.”  


“Detective Williams and Commander McGarrett. Danny and Steve.”  


“Of course. Now technically Mr… Detective Williams is listed as Commander McGarrett’s proxy and visa versa, but it looks like they were aware of the possibility of both being out of commission. You are listed second for both of them, and third is a…” the hospital lawyer looked down at his clipboard, “Kono Kalakaua. If you choose not to make decisions for one or both of them, she is next in line.”  


“In line?”  


“Yes, well, they both have long lists. Let’s see—Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua, Rachel Edwards, hmmm… and what appears to be a list of parents and siblings.” The lawyer flipped the page. “Duke Lukela, and then it literally just says ‘the governor,’ although that has been scratched out and re-written.”  


“Yeah. Things are complicated with the governor. And Steve’s list?” Several more pages flipped on the clipboard.  


“It appears to be identical… oh wait no. Instead of Rachel Edwards, it lists a Mary Anne McGarrett – sister. I’m guessing his parents aren’t around so he just copied his partner’s list. Anyhow, if you are willing to be their medical proxy, we have paperwork to fill out before we can update you on their medical and psychological states.”  


“Actually, is it possible that Kono and I share medical proxy on both? We still have dangerous jobs, and there may be times we’re either out of pocket or out of commission ourselves. From what I’ve already gathered, this is going to be months, not weeks.”  


“Right, well, I’ll have to get that cleared, but given the circumstances, I think we can get that approved.”  


It took 4 hours and yet another phone call from the governor to get the paperwork in order.  


**************  


“It’s a type of amnesia. Called a fugue state.”  


“I don’t get how we both ended up with amnesia if he’s the one who took a blow to the head.”  


“That didn’t help, but that isn’t what caused the fugue state.” Chin clicked on the laptop settled on the hospital table resting across their still shared bed. A picture popped up on the screen. “Neil Kawelo was the man who abducted you. He worked for a pharmaceutical company on the mainland before he moved back to the islands. We think that is where he started working on this.” He clicked another button, and a picture of a molecule popped up.  


“That is what is causing the fugue state. We think.”  


“So he injected us with that?”  


“No. From what it looks like, he actually injected you with a variation of scopolamine. We think he was harvesting plants from the rainforest when either you ran across him, or he ran across you. It looks like he managed to knock you out and then injected you. That explains why you walked back to the car with him, and why you just left your cell phones. Scopolamine makes you very suggestible.” He paused for a moment. 

“Are you sure you’re ready to see these videos?”  


“Don’t know man. But we’ve been wanting answers for months now, since we woke up in that room.”  


“OK then. This is the first video.” Chin punched another key, and the grainy video Kono had been cataloguing appeared on screen. The screen shows Danny, laid out on the mattress. Steve however is up, hauling cement blocks into place and pouring concrete into the empty spaces. They watch him work, occasionally being handed a new tray of cement from outside the room.  


“I did that to us? I walled us in?” He felt bile rising up in his throat.  


“No Steve. That isn’t you. That is the drugs in your system. You couldn’t have fought him like that.”  


“I don’t remember any of it. The first thing I remember was waking up next to him.” He jerked his head in Danny’s direction. Danny was still staring at the screen, transfixed.  


On the screen, the wall was almost done when a hand reached through the opening and patted Steve on the head. Steve on the screen then went and sat down next to Danny, while the remaining blocks were hauled into place from the outside.  


“We know that he actually poured several feet of rebar enforced concrete on the far side of the wall. That is what took us so long to get through.”  


“So why didn’t the scopolamine wear off? Doesn’t it normally only affect the mind for that limited time? It shouldn’t have made us forget everything about ourselves.” It still felt weird knowing things, but not knowing why they knew things – and even weirder knowing WHY they knew it, but not being able to actually remember anything about how they learned it.  


“So it looks like you were getting dosed with a second drug. We found the canisters he was using to maintain oxygen in the room and there was an extra one with that molecule we showed you earlier. We also found evidence that he was adding it to the water supply.”  


“So if we were breathing it and drinking it for – you said 3 and a half months – I’m guessing it will be a while before it is flushed out?”  


“Yeah, the doc has some meds to try to help flush it out of your system, but that doesn’t mean the fugue state will wear off, Steve.”  


“So we might never really be Steve McGarrett or Danny Williams again?”  


“When can we go home?” Everyone turned to look at Danny. He hadn’t spoken to anyone but Steve or Grace since they’d hauled him out of the tomb. It was weird, not hearing him rant about every little thing, and instead having to watch him shrink into Steve’s side if anyone new entered the room.  


“Doc says he wants to keep you a few more days. You are both still dehydrated, even with the saline drips, and your vitamin D levels are low. One of the bags they are giving you is nutrients, too. They’ll give you a special diet at home, to rebuild your systems, but for now they think the IV is best.”  


It was weird just watching them acquiesce. Both men usually fought staying in the hospital. It occurred to Chin for the first time that this might be who they are permanently. Danny was quiet. Steve seemed less guarded when it was just him or Kono. The only fights had been attempts to separate them for tests or even just a trip to the restroom. If one went, so did the other. They refused to eat off their own plates, sharing everything on one before moving onto the other.  


They were intertwined before, but this was beyond co-dependent. There was no way they could come back to work like this. Chin supposed it was a good thing they already lived together.  


“You know when you go home, you have to have someone with you. The psychologist doesn’t want either of you left alone, or alone together, until you pass some tests for him. He seems to think having friends and family around might help break the fugue state when the drugs finally clear out.” He really wanted them to argue with him about it, but they just nodded.  


**************  


“Normally, when someone goes into a fugue state and forgets who they are, they develop a new personality based on their surroundings. Given their captivity and forced co-dependency, they seem to have developed something like a shared personality instead of two separate ones. They know they are two different bodies, but do not understand how to exist separately. Extreme co-dependency. When you get them home, you will have to slowly encourage them to develop individual personalities through moments of separation.”  


The psychologist looked through his notes.  


“I’d suggest starting with physical space. From the videos of their captivity, I see that they were always within touching distance, but not always touching. That seems to have devolved here in the hospital. Try having them sit on opposite ends of a couch, or even in separate chairs. Until they can do that, the rest of the issues cannot even begin to be addressed.  


“I know there are a lot of people who are going to want to see them, but you two will have to be the gatekeepers. One or two people at a time, and you’ll have to watch for signs they are overwhelmed. You are going to have them on a delicate balance of comfort versus recovery. I’d suggest keeping the visitor list to yourselves and Grace for now. Danny only seems to speak to Grace and Steve, so giving Danny one-on-one time with his daughter while Steve does something else nearby might speed the recovery. Anyone else needs to be supervised by one of you, and limited to no more than an hour.”  


**************  


“Ok guys, doc says to let you explore and we will answer questions or fill things in later. He doesn’t think you’ll remember anything right away, but he wants to let your brain filter it in, instead of overloading you with too much. Any questions you have, ask though.”  


“Why are there so many cars?” They were just pulling up outside Steve’s house and the drive was truly stuffed with vehicles.  


“The motorcycle is mine. The red car is Kono’s. The truck belongs to you, Steve, and the car we are in belongs to Danny.”  


“Why do I feel like I should be driving it, then?” Steve asked from the back seat. Chin laughed for what felt like, and probably was, the first time in months.  


“You feel that way no matter what car you’re in, Steve. But you do drive the Camaro, a lot.” He saw Steve’s brow furrow in the rear-view mirror.  


“Alright boss, other boss, let’s get you both settled in.” Kono hopped out the passenger side and headed for the front door.  


The cousins stood back, letting Steve and Danny wander about the house looking around. The two men looked out the back, over the lanai, but neither moved to open the door. They lingered longest in the kitchen, opening the fridge and looking at the food.  


“The aunties came over and cleaned the house up earlier. They brought food too, lots of fresh dishes, milk, orange juice, apple juice, coffee.” Danny opened the fridge again, looking as if he expected the food to disappear. “They’ll keep the fridge stocked with doctor approved foods until you two are better. They’re happy to help ohana.”  


Eventually they’d wandered through the downstairs a number of times, running hands over random bits of furniture and looking at everything as if they had never seen it before. As far as Kono could tell though, the only new things in the house were the small vases of fresh flowers scattered around.  


Upstairs, they were peering through open doors.  


“Grace lives here?!? This is my house?” Danny sounded half panicked, like he couldn’t catch his breath. Kono darted up the stairs. He was braced against the doorframe of the very pink room Steve had painted for Grace just weeks before they disappeared. Steve was inside the room, looking wild-eyed and slightly panicked himself.  


“Danny. No. Grace visits here. She has her own room for when she spends the weekends with you.”  


“But it’s my house?”  


“Well, you live here too, but it’s Steve’s house. It was his parents’ house. Your room is here, across from Grace. That’s your bathroom. And Steve’s room is down the hall.” She pointed to the rooms.  


“You surprised her with paint samples, and she really liked a purple color and this pink, but she thought the stuffed dolphins her Uncle Steve bought her would show up better against the pink. Plus, I think she kind of wanted to see if her Uncle Steve would paint the room pink.” Danny had started breathing evenly again and moved slowly into the room, opening drawers in the dresser. He found swimsuits and coloring books and a drawer full of water socks.  


“That was Mary’s dresser. Steve’s sister’s. She said you could get rid of it to redecorate the room for Gracie, but Grace wanted to keep it. I think you both had planned to sand it down and repaint it white though, to match her new bedframe.” Danny moved over to the closet, looking at the handful of dresses hanging there.  


Finally, Danny and Steve moved across the hall, looking at Danny’s room. They rummaged through drawers, flipped through the shirts and ties hanging in the closet, and took it all in without comment. In the bathroom, Kono heard the shower turn on and off several times and murmuring. She blushed when she heard one of them use the toilet, followed by a flush, and an excited gasp. When they came out of the bathroom, Steve was holding the bar of hand soap. Kono didn’t say anything, and let them finish exploring on their own.  


In the master bedroom, they bypassed the furniture and the closet, rushing into the en suite bathroom – where they fiddled with the shower again. From the hallway she heard the opening of more drawers and doors, until they emerged with an armful of clean towels. They popped their heads into the hall, showing Kono their find, like the fluffy towels were some sort of treasure.  


Finally, Kono heard as they started going through drawers in the bedroom, talking in the hushed whispers that had defined their private conversations since they’d been brought to the hospital. It got too quiet suddenly, and she popped her head in the door, confused to find the room empty – the bathroom too. She was half afraid they’d gone out the open window, although it had seemed like they’d both developed a bit of agoraphobia.  


A scuffle in the closet made her realize her mistake, and she threw the door open to find Steve, only half-dressed, changing into his dress blues. Closing the door, she went downstairs to wait with Chin.  


“Howzit up there?” Kono just smiled and rolled her eyes.  


“They seem fine… well, fine-ish. I’ll let you judge for yourself when they come downstairs.”  


Thirty minutes later they came downstairs, Steve in his dress blues, Danny in his police uniform. They were carrying towels, soap, and one of the stuffed dolphins off Grace’s bed.  


“We’re hungry,” Steve announced.  


“The aunties brought lots of food, but I ordered pizza from Danny’s favorite shop to celebrate, brah. Can you wait for a few more minutes?”  


Steve nodded shortly before heading for the kitchen, followed closely by his partner. It took a few tries, but Steve found the glasses and poured one big glass of orange juice before they headed for the living room and settled onto the couch, huddling close together, towels and soap in Steve’s lap, the dolphin in Danny’s. The cousins weren’t sure if they remembered that they usually ate pizza on the couch watching TV, or if it was the novelty of having a couch that led them there. Either way, it was surreal, seeing them in their dress uniforms on the couch, passing the juice back and forth.  


When the pizza arrived, Chin paid for it, then dropped it on the coffee table before heading to the kitchen for plates and napkins. Coming back into the living room, he stopped short at the look on Kono’s face.  


“What’s up cuz?” She gestured to the couch where Steve was taking a bite of folded pizza, before handing it back to Danny.  


“So they are sharing food –that is what they do now.” He did remember that folding pizza was a Danny thing, not a Steve thing.  


“That’s the ham and pineapple pizza,” Kono whispered. “Danny opened the box on top and grabbed a slice of ham and pineapple.” That was not a Danny thing, at all. “How’s it taste, other boss?”  


Danny hummed his approval before taking another bite and handing it back to Steve.  


Two full slices were gone before Chin and Kono remembered to join them. Even with the opening of the second pizza, Danny continued to grab slices of the ham and pineapple until it was gone.  


**************  


Bedtime was another awkward affair for everyone except Steve and Danny.  


The pair insisted on showering together. Steve showered first, lathering up with what normally would be entirely too much soap. He still kept the shower to 3 minutes though, being handed a towel by Danny as he stepped out, and then changing into a clean pair of boxers they had found in one of the rooms. The big change was that when Steve was clean and dry, Danny took his own 3-minute shower – a luxury they didn’t even realize they had missed.  


Brushing their teeth was still a novelty too, but they’d been given toothbrushes at the hospital, one red, one blue. After getting them mixed up, someone had marked the blue one with a “D” and the red one with an “S”, which worked well enough when they stopped to think about it.  


Climbing into Steve’s bed, Danny was out within minutes. Steve managed to keep watch for an hour, flipping the bedside lamp on and off repeatedly, before drifting off next to his partner – Kono and Chin keeping watch over them from downstairs.  


**************  


For the next several weeks, Chin and Kono took turns sleeping in Danny’s room or keeping watch downstairs. The one night they’d both fallen asleep on the couch, they’d woken up to an empty house. Kono had been pulling pans out to start breakfast when Chin had shouted from upstairs. They tore through the house looking in every room, every closet. Danny and Steve were just not there. They checked out back, even running down the beach to see if they’d somehow ended up at a neighbors house.  


Chin was grabbing for the keys in his pocket, ready to drive up and down the block when he took off running for the driveway. All of the cars were present and accounted for. Rounding the corner of the house, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw them sitting in the Marquis inside the now opened garage. Danny had one arm hanging out the passenger window, while Steve was obviously, even from a distance, pretending to drive.  


He snapped a picture with his phone, sending it Kono before dropping to the ground to watch. Every so often he would hear “motor” sounds, and they would both lean to one said as if taking a hard corner. 

Eventually Kono had come out front, bearing plates of fruit and omelets.  


When the men in the car saw her, they looked a bit sheepish, but didn’t move to get out.  


“That was your dad’s car Steve. You’ve been trying to get her running right since you came home, with varying degrees of success.” Kono handed an overloaded plate through the window—one plate, one fork. 

She’d seen it in the videos and in the hospital, but it still felt odd seeing them either pass the fork back and forth, or forgo that and just feed each other. She plopped down heavily next to her cousin on the ground and held out the other plate, this time with two forks.  


“Well, at least we’ll both be prepared to raise kids.”  


“After what they’ve been through, I hate the idea, but I think we need to install cameras, at least on the doors. Maybe an alarm that texts us whenever the doors or windows open.”  


“I thought they were gone again.”  


“Or that they were never really home, that it was another dream.”  


**************  


“They dress like this every day?”  


“Well, they do change every night for bed – boxers, which I think was how they slept before they went missing, just you know, not together. But yeah, in the mornings, they get up and put on their dress uniforms. And Danny carries around that dolphin most of the time.”  


“It seems strange to see them that way, I’m sure, but they are trying to reclaim their identities from before.”  


“Yesterday they were dressed in the wrong uniforms though. Even though neither fit properly, they wore them that way for almost 2 hours before changing into the right ones. I was afraid to ask if they did that on purpose, or if they, you know, forgot who was supposed to wear what.”  


“But they changed on their own, no reminders. They recognized themselves as separate and changed. How’s the eating?”  


“The same. Kono and I have been sharing a plate but using two forks. We’ve tried giving them two forks, but nothing yet.”  
“That’s good Chin. They’ll get there. Any other changes?”  


“Um... yeah. They still insist on turning the lights on when they go into a room, and off when they leave, even during the day, but they don’t fidget with the switches anymore. And they discovered the TV, although they don’t change the channels unless someone tells them to. I think they watched the weather report for 4 hours yesterday after Kono checked the swells and went out surfing. I got held up in a meeting with the governor and didn’t get to the house until hours after she’d left.”  


“And they were fine on their own otherwise?”  


“Yeah, they got up to get water or juice or something, it’s hard to tell on the video, and disappeared upstairs for a few minutes, I assume to use the restroom. They only seem to like using Steve’s now. But they settled back into place.”  


“So no adverse side effects from leaving them alone?”  


“It doesn’t seem like it. We were actually thinking about leaving them with Grace for a while, if Rachel agrees. Get her settled in with them, a Disney movie on the tv or something, and then me and Kono running errands for an hour or so.”  


**************  


“Do you know why we’re here, Danny?”  


“Because we’re getting better but still need help?”  


“That is true, but I meant why you’re in here and Steve’s out there?” The therapist pointed at the glass door, through which he could clearly see his partner fidgeting in a chair, flanked by Chin and Kono. Their memories were starting to return, and as such, the therapist thought they could move their twice weekly sessions from Pi’ikoi street to their offices at the Palace.  


She’d set it up so that she and Danny could both see Steve, but he would have to twist a little more than was strictly comfortable. Right now, he was twisted around, watching Chin calmly talking Steve into staying in place.  


“Because we really can’t come back to work until we get over the separation anxiety?”  


“That is also true, Danny. Right now though, I am concerned because in our previous sessions, you’ve never really talked, and when you do, it’s to Steve. This is the first time you’ve spoken directly to me, aside from saying hello and goodbye. I’m wondering why you never speak up, even though you’re beginning to remember that you were usually quite vociferous before.”  


She let several long moments of silence pass and was prepared to sit for as long as it took. Finally, he turned and faced her.  


“Because we don’t need it. Everything is getting better and there isn‘t anything to argue about.”  


“So it’s easier to just let him take charge?”  


“He knows what we need.” Danny shrugged.  


“Is it true that you get up and go swimming with him every morning now, despite your previous aversion to the ocean?”  


“We need the exercise.”  


“There are other ways to get exercise.”  


“I hate exercise. And I’m not ready for team sports right now. So we swim and everybody wins.”  


“What do you get out of it, Danny?”  


“I told you. Exercise.” She waited, knowing there was more to it. “And I need to not be inside. I was claustrophobic before, but now being inside with the doors shut feels safer. We can’t go back to work like that.”  


“And what does Steve get out of swimming with you?”  


“Exercise. And he loves the water.” She sat quietly again. This time he turned to study his still obviously anxious partner before sagging back into his chair. “He isn’t strong enough to swim like he used to. If I’m with him, he doesn’t have to.” More silence, but she could tell there was something else there. “He needs me to hold him back from pushing too hard. Just like before. You… you aren’t going to tell him I said that?”  


“No, Danny, when you and I talk, it’s between us. If you want to tell him anything, that’s okay though. And even though I’m still talking to Chin and Kono about how to help you both get better, I don’t disclose any details of our discussions.” She let him sit in silence for a few moments. “So, are there any other issues or changes that you’d like to discuss?”  


Danny twisted around again to look at his team. Chin had his hand on Steve’s shoulder and was obviously applying physical force to keep him seated. He gave a weak smile and waved his hand, trying to signal that it was alright. Only when Steve settled back into the chair did Danny turn back around.  


“We watched a baseball game last night. It was one of those classic games, and we watched it even though I knew how it turned out.”  


“And how is that important?”  


“Steve doesn’t care about baseball, but he watched it because I like it. He likes swimming, I like baseball. It isn’t all one sided.” He had turned in his chair again, but away from both the therapist and Steve. “We did that before. We watched baseball together. And hockey even though Steve doesn’t really care about that. Football was one we could both agree on though. We watched a lot of football.” The words came out too fast, and she saw his shoulders hitch. “And the pizza thing, I know they had to have told you about the pizza, but right now any food tastes good, so it isn’t a big deal that I’m eating ham and pineapple pizza.”  


Again, she employed silence, patiently waiting to see what else would come pouring out. Several long minutes passed, and she was about to end the session.  


“I took a 5 minute shower. I mean, Steve always took 3-minute showers, Navy showers he says, so it is normal that he is still taking 3-minute showers, but I took a 5 minute shower when it was my turn. I didn’t time it, but I washed my hair twice with shampoo and used conditioner, so it had to be 5 minutes. Steve didn’t say anything, but he smiled when he handed me my towel.”  


“That’s good Danny. That is breaking the conditioning and making choices. What do you think the next step should be?”  


The therapist thought about waiting him out, but taking in the way his shoulders were shaking, and his absolute avoidance of eye contact, she decided to end the session.  


“Ok, think about that, Danny. What should your next healing step be? Then just make the choice to do it. If you’re ready, I’d like to bring Steve in and talk to him one-on-one now.”  


**************  


“After speaking to both of them, I think I’ve revised my initial reaction as to their status. I originally thought that Steve was enabling Danny’s fears, trying to take care of everything. However, Danny was much calmer when he was asked to wait outside while I talked to Steve, whereas Steve was just as anxious both while he waited and while we spoke. In fact, Steve spent the entire visit turned around watching Danny.”  


“Yeah, Kono and I noticed that too. At first I just thought it was because Steve has never been good at sitting still unless he was locked onto a target, but when it looked like Danny was umm... emotional… I had to physically restrain him from going into the office.”  


“From what I’ve heard indirectly and directly about their previous relationship, it was co-dependent as well, but balanced. Neither seemed to have appropriate boundaries, they both had anger issues, they had intense arguments constantly. However, somehow there was a balance there so that neither one was ever really in control of the other. It sounds like they sort of spiraled around each other, somehow shoring up each other’s weaknesses instead of breaking them down. This though. There is no parity. Even though it seems like Steve is the caregiver, taking care of Danny, it is quite the opposite. Danny is allowing Steve to call the shots to allay his own fears. Danny seems more ready to step away, but he won’t if it means upsetting Steve.”  


“That is pretty much how it has always been though, doc. Danny has literally followed Steve into a firefight without a TAC vest, griping the whole time of course, but he was never going to let Steve go it alone. Hell, he’s followed him halfway around the world just to be there for him.”  


“Right, but back then Danny followed willingly, trusting both of their skills. Steve went in knowing Danny was going to follow, trusting him to provide backup. Here, they don’t trust that the other one is going to stay. 

That is what this is all about. If they let go of each other, the only thing they knew for over 3 months, the only thing that kept them at all sane – if they let go, they are both terrified that they will lose each other, and since they are so tangled up, they will lose themselves. Danny is afraid that if he doesn’t let Steve have what he wants, he will somehow disappear into himself, and Steve is petrified that Danny will be able to just walk away. Danny will walk into a firefight after him again, as you say, but this time, it won’t be because he trusts his partner. He wouldn’t even argue, even if it was sure to get them both killed.”  


“Danny got shot on their first case together, because he didn’t trust Steve yet. It was just a graze, but if things go sideways again… Shit. How do we fix it?”  


“Mostly it will just take time. The plan doesn’t change, we just have to pay more attention to Steve. I think any progress we make with him will allow Danny to improve on his own, so to speak. Does Steve have anyone he is close to that he can form a bond with, other than Danny?”  


“Danny was his world pretty much. His parents are gone. He doesn’t get on well with his sister. He had to kill one of his best friends. In the line of duty of course. The only person he was uniquely close to is Cath, and her requests for leave have all been turned down. We’re all ohana, but Steve just revolved around Danny and Grace.”

**************  


“Salmon is healthier.”  


“I’m in the mood for a burger.”  


“We had burgers yesterday.”  


“We had fast food burgers yesterday. These are better.”  


“Fine. But if we get a burger, we are getting steamed vegetables as a side.”  


“Who eats steamed vegetables with a burger? They have seasoned steak fries.”  


“Then we get the salmon with the seasoned steak fries instead of the vegetables.”  


“I don’t want fish. I want a burger. I want a burger with cheese – no – extra cheese – and seasoned steak fries.”  


“Excellent choice sir. And for you?” The waitress looked expectantly at Steve. Neither man had noticed her walk up behind them.  


“He’ll have the salmon, with steamed vegetables.”  


“No butter.”  


“Butter on the side. I want butter on my half.”  


Chin had to hide the smile that threatened to ruin the casual nature of the moment. They were obviously going to split their meals as usual, but they were going to split two different meals. Progress was progress.  


**************

There were still a lot of bits and pieces missing from their time in captivity and from before. They’d been home now longer than they’d been missing, but recovery was slow. Chin was almost grateful for the diversion, and couldn’t figure out why he was always so shocked at just how astute Danny was.  


“You miss her, don’t you?” Danny had come back in from waving at Steve and Gracie and Kono down on the beach. If he didn’t show his face every few minutes, Steve would come in looking for him.  


“I keep thinking it’ll get easier. We weren’t married for long, but I keep having to remember that she’s gone and figure out how to be without her.” He passed Danny the cheese to start adding to the rows of sandwiches.  


“I almost understand that. Some mornings I wake up and forget everything I’ve forgotten and when I roll over and see Steve, I remember that Rachel left me and took Gracie and it hurts all over again. Then I remember that Matty is gone too.” Danny’s voice is soft, and Chin sees that he is fidgeting with the last cheese slice, trying to line the edges up perfectly.  


“You aren’t alone Danny. You have Steve, and Grace is here almost every day. You have me and Kono and all the aunties and uncles you can handle. Ohana, brah.”  


“Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”  


Chin and Danny both jerked at the sound of Steve’s voice from the doorway.  


“Gracie says she needs you to help her finish the sand castle. I can help Chin finish the sandwiches, Danno. And yes, I remember extra tomato and no onion for Grace.” It took a moment but Danny grabbed a bottle of water and headed down to the beach. It was the first time Steve had let Danny leave without an argument.  


“You can talk to me, you know. I didn’t lose a wife, but I’ve lost a lot of people I loved.” He was careful arranging the tomato slices and steadfastly not looking at Chin. “Maybe we can go get loco moco or a beer tonight. Gracie is staying tonight, so Danny won’t be alone.” Neither man mentioned that Kono would be camped out in Danny’s room, so he wouldn’t have been alone anyhow. The doctor still insisted that it was safer to have someone there, but at least Kono and Chin switched off nights now.  


“Yeah, Steve. I’d like that. Maybe we can go to Rainbow and pick up some food, then sit in the driveway here and talk, in case Gracie needs something.” Some of the tension eased out of Steve’s shoulders at the suggestion. Grace’s presence had motivated most of the progress.  


It had only been two and a half weeks since Steve and Danny had stopped splitting meals and started eating off separate plates, so for Steve to suggest leaving the house without Danny AND eating a meal without him was unexpected.  


**************  


“It’s raining.”  


“It’s barely raining.”  


“If water is falling from the sky, it is raining. If it is raining, you should stay indoors.”  


“Just going to get wet in the water anyways.”  


“Fine. You go swimming. I’ll stay here, comfortable and dry.”  


“You have to get exercise, Danno.”  


“I’ll join the softball league next season, babe.”  


“Yeah, fine. But no malasadas until you do.”


End file.
